Bullies may speak loudly, but their words are not the truth. Your worth is not defined by their cruelty, and their pain is not yours to carry.
By Sergio Toledo
Editor-in-Chief, Heed to Heal
Introduction
Being bullied can make you feel like the world is pressing in on you. Cruel words, stares, or actions can echo in your mind long after the moment is over. Over time, it’s easy to start believing some of those lies, especially when you hear them more than once. But those words are not a reflection of who you are. They never have been.
When someone tries to tear you down, what they’re really doing is revealing something about themselves. Their pain, their insecurity, or their need for control is speaking louder than the truth. What they say about you isn’t real. It’s noise. It’s projection.
You are not the words they throw at you. You are not the image they try to create. You are far more than their small understanding of you, and nothing they say can change that.
Their Words Are Not the Truth
When someone bullies you, their goal is often to get a reaction. They want to see hurt on your face because it makes them feel powerful for a moment. But just because someone says something doesn’t make it real. Their words only have power when you begin to believe them.
Most bullies are carrying something they don’t know how to handle. They lash out at others to push their pain away, even if only for a short time. What comes out of their mouth is often a reflection of their own insecurity. They say things to control how you feel, not because their words hold any real truth.
What they say does not define you. Their opinions are not facts, and their cruelty does not reflect your worth. The truth about who you are lives inside you, not in the mouth of someone who is trying to hurt you.
They Want a Reaction — Protect Your Peace
Bullies often thrive on the reactions they get. When someone looks upset, embarrassed, or shaken, it gives the bully a false sense of power. They feed on attention, whether it’s silence, tears, or anger. That’s why not giving them what they want can feel like reclaiming your space.
Choosing not to let their words stick to you isn’t weakness. It’s strength. It’s the quiet decision to hold your power close instead of handing it over to someone who doesn’t deserve it. You don’t need to prove anything to them. Their opinion doesn’t define who you are or who you’ll become.
Your calm is something they cannot control. When you remind yourself of your worth and stand steady in it, their words start to lose their weight. They stop being walls that trap you and become meaningless noise you can walk past.
You Are So Much More than What They See
Bullies only see what they want to see. They don’t know your heart, your strengths, or the quiet parts of your story that make you who you are. They don’t understand your worth because they’re too focused on their own pain. That blindness is theirs to live with—not yours to carry.
You are more than their opinions, more than their lies, more than their attempts to bring you down. Their words don’t touch the real you. The real you is strong, worthy, and full of things they’ll never be able to take away.
One day, their voices will fade. But your sense of self, your kindness, your resilience—those will still be here. Because they were never built on someone else’s approval. They’ve always belonged to you.
References
- Olweus, Dan. Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do. Blackwell, 1993.
- Espelage, Dorothy L. “Understanding the Motivations Behind Bullying.” Educational Psychologist, 2014.
- Rigby, Ken. Bullying in Schools and What to Do About It. ACER Press, 2007.
Originally published by Heed to Heal, 10.13.2025, under the terms of a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International license.
