If someone treats you like you’re beneath them, the problem isn’t you. This article explores why people act stuck up, what it reveals about them, and how to protect your peace.
By Sergio Toledo
Editor-in-Chief, Heed to Heal
Introduction
Some people walk through the world with an air of superiority. They speak only to those they approve of, look through the ones they deem unimportant, and give off the sense that they believe they are better than everyone else. If you’ve ever felt ignored, dismissed, or judged by someone like this, you’re not alone. That kind of behavior can stir up self-doubt, even when deep down you know you didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s easy to take that treatment personally. You might wonder what you did to deserve it, or what it is about you that makes someone act that way. But the truth is, this isn’t about you. People who act stuck up or treat others poorly are often wrestling with their own emotional struggles. Their behavior reflects what’s going on inside of them, not anything lacking in you.
Understanding this can help you pull back from the sting of their behavior. Instead of trying to win their approval or shrinking in response, you can begin to see the pattern for what it is: a reflection of someone else’s discomfort, not a measure of your worth.
What That Behavior Really Says
When someone consistently acts superior, it is rarely because they are as confident as they appear. In many cases, it’s the opposite. People who act stuck up often carry deep insecurities they try to cover up by acting dismissive or exclusive. If they can look down on others, they don’t have to examine what they feel uncertain about within themselves.
Sometimes this behavior is learned. People may have grown up in environments where status, appearance, or popularity were emphasized over kindness and connection. They may believe that distancing themselves from others gives them more value. But that distance doesn’t come from true self-worth. It comes from fear—fear of being seen as ordinary, of not being in control, or of being hurt if they open up.
Others act cold or standoffish as a way of maintaining power in social situations. They decide who is worthy of their attention and who isn’t, and in doing so, they create a false sense of control. This behavior might be familiar if they have experienced powerlessness elsewhere in their life. But no matter the reason, the result is often the same: people around them feel small, invisible, or confused about what they did wrong.
You Are Not the Problem
When someone treats you like you don’t matter, your mind might try to come up with reasons why. Maybe you weren’t interesting enough. Maybe they just didn’t like your energy. Maybe you said something wrong. These thoughts are common, but they are not the truth. You are not responsible for someone else’s unkindness or cold behavior.
You do not have to twist yourself into someone else’s version of what is acceptable in order to be treated with basic respect. If someone only shows warmth to people they approve of or makes others feel unworthy, that is a reflection of how they value human connection. It has nothing to do with your personality, your appearance, or your presence.
Not everyone will treat you well. That’s a hard truth, but it’s also a freeing one. Because once you realize that someone else’s attitude is their own, you can stop trying to prove yourself to them. You can take your energy back and give it to the people who see you, respect you, and want to connect with you as you are.
Protecting Your Energy and Moving Forward
If you’re around someone who constantly makes you feel less than, it is okay to create distance. You do not owe your time or kindness to people who repeatedly treat you poorly. Protecting your energy doesn’t make you cold. It makes you wise. You get to choose who has access to your inner world, and that choice can help you heal from the effects of dismissive behavior.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to stop trying to figure out why someone is acting a certain way. Let them be where they are. Focus instead on the spaces where you feel comfortable and accepted. Build relationships that are mutual, warm, and kind. Those connections are the ones that will support your growth, not make you question your worth.
So if someone acts stuck up, let them. You don’t need their approval to feel good about yourself. You don’t have to be liked by everyone to be valuable. The people who matter will see you clearly, without conditions. And the more you remind yourself of that, the easier it becomes to let go of the ones who never really saw you at all.
References
- Psychology Today. (2023). Understanding Narcissistic and Superior Behavior
- Greater Good Magazine. (2022). Why Some People Act Better Than Others
- Verywell Mind. (2021). How to Set Boundaries With Emotionally Dismissive People
Originally published by Heed to Heal, 10.06.2025, under the terms of a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International license.
